The holidays just hit different when someone you love is living in assisted care. Maybe your mom has moved into a cozy apartment, or Dad’s settled in a memory care facility, and all the “normal” plans are tossed out the window. It can be bittersweet and maybe even a little awkward at first. But joy? You can still find plenty of it-just sometimes in unexpected places.
Home Is Where You Make It
Walking through the doors of an assisted living place, you might notice the decorations feel a bit… generic. Maybe there’s one of those classic wreaths on every door or a small tree set up in the corner. But honestly, those little touches can bring a surprising amount of warmth.
Personalize your loved one’s space by hanging up family photos, stringing up homemade paper snowflakes, or bringing in their favorite cozy blanket. Even the scent of a special holiday candle (just check with staff first!) can trigger good memories and get everyone in the spirit.
Keep Beloved Traditions-Or Make Up New Ones
The rhythm of the holidays usually feels set in stone, but now? It’s okay to mix things up. Ask your loved one what little things matter most-a favorite song, certain foods, or a game the family always played.
Maybe you can’t recreate the entire Thanksgiving spread, but bringing in a little plate of Grandma’s stuffing or a batch of the cookies Grandpa always loved can work magic. Some families pick a single tradition to “carry in” and let the rest go. Honestly, it’s the small gestures that usually stick.
Let Staff and Neighbors In on the Fun
One of the nicest surprises in these settings? The sense of community. Neighbors and staff often become like extended family, especially over time. Include them in your celebrations, even in simple ways. Bring enough treats to share, or organize a mini craft project or ornament exchange for your loved one’s hall. A little laughter and some new faces make everything brighter.
Virtual Connections (Yep, Even After 2020)
Maybe travel isn’t possible for everyone, or it’s just not safe for some family members to visit in person. Don’t let that squash the holiday spirit. Tablets and phones can be a lifeline. Set up a time for a Zoom call, sing some carols together, or lead trivia while everyone munches on cookies in their own living rooms. It’s not quite the same as a warm hug, but it sure beats nothing.
Adapting for Memory Care
If memory loss is part of the picture, routines and gentle reminders mean a lot. Avoiding chaos and big crowds helps, so smaller, quieter celebrations are usually best. Look for activities that engage the senses-soft music, familiar ornaments, or even a gentle hand massage with holiday-scented lotion.
Don’t Forget Yourself
Caring for a loved one can be exhausting, and the holidays just magnify that. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling-then step back if you need a recharge. A short walk, a little time with friends, or a quiet afternoon with a book: these things help you bring your best self to your loved one, no matter how you celebrate.
Finding Joy in New Spaces
Sure, the setting has changed, but the heart of the holiday-connection, compassion, laughter-stays the same. Hang up the twinkle lights, pass the hot cocoa, and let yourself discover new kinds of joy (messy, spontaneous, or perfectly imperfect). The memories you make this year just might surprise you in the best way.